7 Baby Things Allegedly Every Parent Will Buy And Supposedly Never Use

As promised.

I saw this article from Babycenter get shared on Monday and I had some thoughts.

1) The Changing Table

Duh. Of course don’t buy a changing table. Buy the $20 changing mat that can go on literally any piece of furniture and go about your day. We have two in our house (one upstairs and one down) and we really put them anywhere. In our last house, the upstairs one started on a dresser in our bedroom, then migrated to an antique buffet in the nursery when Sam moved there too. The other was on a shelf downstairs that used to house our bar and record player before our coolness got usurped. Now, the upstairs one is in its same spot in the nursery, while the downstairs one is on a window seat, because who has energy for another piece of furniture, honestly?

2) The Bumbo Seat

I loved the Bumbo for a limited time. We delayed buying a high chair because I didn’t feel like doing the research before it was necessary, so when the time came for Sam to start eating solid foods we didn’t have one. Also I don’t think he was ready for a high chair for a good couple of months after he started on solids, and the Bumbo came to our rescue. We propped this bad boy on the counter and let him watch while I cooked, watch while his dad played guitar, and had him at the perfect level to give him is first foods, all while being EXTREMELY wipeable (which was necessary because this was also his preferred place to poop.) We also used it one time to prop up Sam when we had two older babies over and he wanted to be part of the gang.

That being said, my brother, father of twins, HATED the Bumbo and cursed it on multiple occasions. We’ve had out of town guests attempt to use ours and also hate it. It’s obviously not for everyone, but I wouldn’t knock it without trying it. Three months of improved baby life is a huge deal while you’re in that three months. Maybe see if you can get one from a friend who hated their Bumbo.

3) Shopping Cart Cover

Really. Don’t buy a shopping cart cover. If it’s cold and flu season, wipe the handle bar because they’re GOING to put their mouth on it, but please leave it at that.

I once was having breakfast with a friend when a young couple with a baby Sam’s age arrived at the table next to us. We watched in our periphery while the dad spent FIVE MINUTES wiping the table and high chair down with antibacterial wipes, unfolded the plush high chair cover from the diaper bag, and THEN unfolded a disposable plastic mat and meticulously covered half the table with it before setting the baby down. Don’t be those people.

4) Pacifier Wipes

Really. Who buys pacifier wipes? The only time I even wipe Sam’s pacifier with a baby wipe is when a stranger picks up his pacifier in public and hands it to me, informs me that it was on the floor, and then lingers to make sure I’m going to wipe it before giving it back to him. Don’t be that person either. If you’re somewhere that you actually need to clean the pacifier, like the doctors’ office or an airport, give it a spritz with the hand sanitizer I know you’re carrying in the diaper bag, wipe vigorously with a baby wipe, and carry on.

5) Wipe Warmer

A wipe warmer is a waste of space and electricity that you have to constantly monitor for mildew. UNLESS you’re using cloth wipes, in which case it is the perfect thing to store them in and the baby will hate you if you don’t use one. Your call.

6) Diaper Pail

We don’t have a diaper pail. You can definitely live without a diaper pail. But we’ve visited multiple families with diaper pails and man are they awesome.

7) Baby Shoes

Right, baby shoes are purely ornamental and a complete waste of money until you’re kid can walk and are probably screwing up your kid’s feet if you leave them in shoes all the time, you selfish monster. UNLESS you have a kid who absolutely will not keep socks on and inherited your poor circulation and constantly has cold feet if the temperature dips below 75 degrees. Then baby shoes are the best. I recommend these.


Other parents: What do you think? Are these products useful, or a waste of money?

Photo: Sam in his Bumbo

Baby Registry #1: Pregnancy

Because the first step to taking care of baby is taking care of your pregnant self.

In no particular order, these are the things that helped alleviate the discomforts of pregnancy.

Snoogle Loop! This thing was simultaneously my best friend and David’s worst enemy – and I can’t wait to use it again. I am a natural stomach sleeper, and that ability went away when I was about 14 weeks pregnant with Sam. You’re not supposed to sleep on your back while pregnant, and side sleeping is just achy joints waiting to happen. This thing brought the joy of sleep back to me. It’s like being wrapped in a hug and supported in all the right places.

Liz Lange Maternity Tank Tops – Target I am convinced that this is actually the perfect shirt. It fits your shape from awkward early pregnancy, big-as-a-house late pregnancy, to postpartum and beyond. (And I mean the beyond – I’d be lying if I said I weren’t still wearing them) I have black, black-and-white, white, grey, and aqua and they are just. so. good. On their own or layered, with literally anything on the bottom, they are the perfect length and perfect shoulder width, and the material is stretchy enough to expand over your belly while pregnant or pull down for nursing. They are the only maternity item I didn’t pack up with all the others.

Preggie Pops I can’t remember who recommended these to me, but they are delicious. I don’t know how or why they work (my guess is the sourness actually just distracts from your nausea) but I can vouch that they do. But mostly they’re delicious.

Peppermint Oil – Good for nausea, good for headaches, good for just feeling nice.

If anyone finds a good remedy for heartburn before my next pregnancy, please let me know. I tried papaya enzyme and a couple of other natural remedies, and in the end the only thing that really worked was slowly eating pints of vanilla ice cream. At least it had calcium!

Photo: Me 35 weeks pregnant, Loki saying hi to her baby brother.