These are the things that David and I deemed ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY in order to not have a screaming baby and get any amount of sleep. Trust me.

The Wubbanub Buy one in every animal. Tuck them into the swaddle. Leave them in each car, and inside the front door, and all over the house. These are not only the best pacifiers (used in NICU) but they are attached to a bean-bag-like stuffed animal, so they rest on tiny little cabbage babies when they spit them out over and over again instead of falling on the floor, then become trusted companions so that older babies are less inclined to throw them on the floor. Although this last part might be debatable, as Sam has thrown one of his off a moving train, and plays a daily nap time game of throwing them one by one out of his crib until there are none left and he cries for me to come give them all back. I have witnesses.

[Breastfeeding experts recommend waiting several weeks to establish breastfeeding before introducing a pacifier to avoid nipple confusion. This may be true, but DAMN I wish we hadn’t waited five weeks to give one to Sam. When Baby #2 happens, we probably won’t.]

Halo Velcro Swaddle Sack This guy. Please get it. I know everyone swears by the Aden & Anais swaddle blankets, and they really are great and we have lots of them and their other products, too. But our baby could not be swaddled. No matter who swaddled him. Not us. Not our in-laws. Not the doula. Not the lactation consultant who has been swaddling babies for 40 years. He is a little Houdini and was out of all forms of swaddling within 60 seconds, except for this. We were able to zip him up, strap him down, and get some sleep, and no amount of writhing could stop us.

Woombie This is a great alternative/addition to the Velcro Swaddler, but we were hesitant to use it for the first few weeks because it felt like we were going to break our baby. It won’t break the baby. Cinch it down, and everyone will be happier.

My Breast Friend Nursing Pillow People have strong opinions about the My Breast Friend vs the Boppy. Here’s mine: both are great, but the breast friend was invaluable in my first weeks nursing. I did not take easily to nursing, and needed both hand for a very long time. Having a shelf to rest the baby on while I cradled him, manipulated his head, and manhandled my boob was an absolute necessity. The Boppy just didn’t provide the support that I needed, and when I was comfortable enough with nursing to actually use it, I found a regular pillow was just as good. Recommendation: Whichever you go with, get some custom covers in a cute fabric off of Etsy.

Snuggle Nest Surround  I am a huge supporter of limited co-sleeping. For the first few weeks of Sam’s life, he was in the bed with me, while David slept in the guest room. (A tip given to us by a friend, which I highly recommend. One parent should get sleep if at all possible, so that they can make rational decisions and be more forgiving of the crazy sleep-deprived one.) Even without David in the bed, I was afraid of crushing the baby in my sleep, and having him in this, inches away from my face so I could tell at all times that he was still breathing, was awesome. I’ve seen them several times recently at Marshalls and T.J. Maxx, so maybe check there first.

Fleece Blanket I already mentioned the Aden & Anais blankets that everyone is so crazy about, which come in so many cute patterns, of which everyone insisted you couldn’t have too many. I officially have too many of them, but when Sam was first born, I only had ONE actual blanket that my friend Erin, who already had a baby and knew what the hell she was doing, sent. As it turned out Sam was born three weeks early triggered by the Great Polar Vortex of 2014, and blankets were a must. Just putting him in warm clothes was not enough. He wanted to be wrapped up for all waking hours in cuddly, cozy fleece. We actually had one of our many hippie-science-parent freak-outs and worried about putting non-natural fibers on our baby, but after going through many other wool and woven cotton blankets, fleece stuck. Get at least two.

White Noise! Now that I’ve made it this far in the list, I realize I’m basically just ripping off the 5 S’s from The Happiest Baby on the Block (which you also need, and need to read it before you have the baby because words will elude you when you have a 2-day old and desperately need this knowledge, and make note cards because everything you’ve learned will be promptly forgotten), but white noise was our savior. We were completely insane and used a hairdryer on the cool setting for several weeks, because it was the only thing loud enough to soothe Sam, until finally the motor started giving out and our friend Kevin said “What are you doing?? What are your electricity bills?? Use iTunes!” So we switched to a track on our phone on repeat, and it was just as effective. Also portable, which was great for airplanes, cab rides, and trips to the grocery store because it instantly made him stop fussing. Every time. Now we’ve moved on to the one that I linked to, which happens to be the one every massage therapist I’ve ever been to uses. That has to count for something, right?

Amazon Prime Last but not least. Put this on your baby registry. Get someone to get it for you. Every single thing I have on this list is Prime Eligible, which means you get free 2-day shipping, and nothing beats not having to leave your house with a newborn.

I just clicked over to Facebook and saw Pregnant Chicken had posted this article from Babycenter. I’ll probably do a response post, because I have some thoughts about the Bumbo, but it’s a pretty good list. Don’t buy a changing table. Really.

Photo: Sam with his Wubbanub -and- fleece blanket at five weeks old.